03. i only want to be with you

i really wan to noe wads goin on... i heard lots of stuff... i dun noe whether it is true anot... of course i wish they are not true... but it seems so true... if it is true... i really cant imagine it... i cant imagine tat u can actually do this... or should i sae im numb to everything... or im force to pretend tat nth has happen... wrong i should sae... tat everything is true... truth tat i dun wish is true... i might well wish i had been rejected right from the start... it is better than now... i dun noe wad u wan... i dun noe wad u thinking about... i just dun hope that all tat i heard is true... but if i think tat way... im just deciving myself... totally cheating myself... i dun wan to hear stuff... dun wan to see anymore things... i dun wan to noe wads goin on anymore... i just wan to carry on lieing to myself... n wad... act happy in school everydae... pretend nth has happen... even if the worse has come... still look happy... smile everytime... everydae... make ppl laugh n happy... even though im hurting like hell inside... but so wad... it is nice... to be hurt... i might well not be loved... coz it hurts... so wad for be loved when u will still get hurt... so might as well just get hurt but not loved... it is better isnt it... i dun noe wad im goin to do next... i really dun noe... forget bout everything... pretend very thick skin... go school as if nth has happen... i dun noe... but i noe one thing... i dun wan to cry to sleep... my eye hurts... n i still wanna wear contects... after cryin i cant wear contects the next dae... but who cares... i dun care already... i care for ppl more than myself... wad more u wan me to do... i dun noe...

the only one i want.