03. i only want to be with you

haizx... i dun noe i hav this blog for wad... it seems useless... i dun see a point in blogging anymore too... anyway... it has been 24 daes since we r together... wad to sae bout us... i dun noe... i feel as if i dun hav a brain... a mind anymore... i dun understand wad r frens for anymore... i dun understand wad im there for... be a statue tat look horrible... tat ppl ignore... a statue tat is not suppose to be there??? or wad... a invisible statue... tat no one can see... ?! wad to do... i already get use to it already... yar im a person with no love... im just living for u now... not for anyone just u... not for myself... i no longer trust myself... coz i hav already lost myself long time ago... u can sae tat me is already not me... proberly im like a robot... just doin wad ppl sae must do... than recharge n continue working... just so hope one dae i couldnt be recharged anymore... i could just break down... not work anymore... n i cant believe it tat i decided not to do it for the time being... or maybe forever... but seeing ppl doin it hurts me... u all r my fren... y must u do it... y cant u just stop... i noe it is not easy... but i noe u can do it... just believe in ureself... u can do it... n u will... dreams come true... but thet will fly away again n again... they nv stay for long... i really wan to get myself in trouble... go to rtc... n stuff... n i really did flunk my e maths test todae... i pratically only did like 2 ques among 6 ques... left 4 ques totally blank... n todae a rock band came to our sch... they sang one song tat nearly make me cry... just hope tat u were there at tat moment... but even yes... i think i wont make a diff... im i really tat horrible???!!! i really wan to noe... but i think the answer will be yes... so i might as well dun wan to noe... or maybe i should accept the facts... the fact tat im horrible... yup... anyway who cares... life is just a tragic thing...

the only one i want.